I have always imagined myself being in love

Now at 45 years old and have put myself in many situations

A person telling another they LOVE them

Generally goes out of the way to show the one they love just how much

Just how much. Is exactly what I am trying to say to you.

JUST HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THE OTHER

Words aren’t supposed to hurt, and neither are the hands that keep one safe
 

To hear another tell you softly how much you are loved

To feel another hold you gently in their arms

The heart seems to skip a beat at the sound of the voice I love hearing “I love you”

The body trembles a little each time you hold me knowing how secure I am in your arms

To imagine hearing the same voice come out with harsh words demeaning you

To imagine the hands that keep you safe, balled in a fist to hit you

JUST HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THE OTHER

 

Now to my surprise today after two years of loving the same voice I love to hear

Now to my surprise today after two years of holding the hands I love so much

After many ups and downs as in a typical relationship

We have had arguments but nothing like what I never dreamed of today

To hear the voice shout and say I HOPE YOU DIE & GET OUT OF MY LIFE

To see the hands in disbelief balled in fists coming at you to no longer make you safe

JUST HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THE OTHER

 

My heart has never been so full of love than it was yesterday

My body has never felt as safe as I did while in your arms yesterday

Today much to my surprise you showed me JUST HOW MUCH

You shouted to me and screamed at me demeaning me, making me feel as small as a bug

As you shouted the words GET OUT OF MY LIFE & I HOPE YOU DIE!!!

AS you came toward me shouting at me and balling up those beautiful hands to hurt me today

You sure did make me feel about as big as a bug with the fear you have finally instilled in me today.

YOU SHOWED ME JUST HOW MUCH YOU REALLY LOVE ME TODAY

 

I don’t know now what to expect when you awaken from your drunken nap

I wasn’t able to stop LOVING YOU TODAY because of this to my surprise

I never could have imagined YOU SHOWING ME JUST HOW MUCH YOU REALLY LOVE ME THIS WAY TODAY

I can only hope to awake in the morning and realize what a terrible dream I have been having all day yesterday!!!