Bi polar- manic depression 01/27/2015

Well in the life of bi polar or manic depression in my case today seems to be starting out pretty well. The past few days I have been in kind of a rut though not wanting to do anything. Even showering seemed to be a chore yesterday, but I did it anyway. I remember when I wasn’t fortunate enough to be on medication it wasn’t pretty. If I wasn’t in a crazy tizzy of trying to get all the material things in the world, I would be sleeping for days upon days. I can only thank the man upstairs for helping me find someone, to tolerate me long enough, to finally realize they would prefer to get me help; than to continue living with me the way I was. Don’t get me wrong I still have my days and even weeks that I am barely tolerable with my mood swings and personalities. I also have days and weeks where I am more than tolerable, I am kind, and loving, and even inquisitive, a real pleasure to be around.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about if I had to go off of my medicines what I would do. I can only think that I would probably go completely out of my mind. Maybe even possibly kill myself or someone else with my terrible mood swings. If it weren’t for the health care finally being affordable I would still be suffering and driving my loved ones completely away, maybe even in jail.

Anyone reading this has questions on what it is like to be bi polar. It is surely not a picnic in the park. Thanks for your support.